The close up, face up to Nicky Greenwall

The best close up I have ever seen. The Greenwall Productions gave its best offering after show casing Nicky Greenwall and her story of how she landed up in showbiz. The struggles, the anxiety attacks, the loss and the eventual gains all come with this studious woman, Nicky Greenwall.

Seeing as it was woman’s month when they shot the season of “The close up”, this was a perfect ending to what had been a microscopic look into the lives of our local celebrities. The stars are an array of stars we see or hear about on a daily basis. My best show was Zolani Mahola when she told about how she reached her heights and even a stunt on television on Tsha Tsha. But I did not anticipate ever that “the Camera’s would be reversed” and we would see the elegant lady behind the show, the show we have become such avid fans to.

Greenwall agrees to having a cushioned upbringing in Capetown. Her lifestyle or the lifestyle given to her had blind folded her to the political activities of the day and now she is an all rounded all South African citizen. I don’t want to dwell on her personal life but rather to commend this phenomenal character for facing adversity and not giving up. She has taught me and many South Africans that following your instincts will benefit you only if you follow them.

My admiration ran wild when she spoke of something most people never want to talk about, the fear that you are not in control. I have had that fear for far too many times and could never identify with it until the show. However so, I must say writing this makes me feel like I am a step away from ridding of the fear and taking back control. I was always told, by many people who know me well, to continue writing. My real passion is a way with words and why we pick the words we do and why we say what we do at the times we do. The best part is when they reflect on paper. Writing my reflection of the show is just one of the ways of firstly honouring Ms Greenwall and secondly applauding the stellar work she has done.

To the Greenwall production team this is the only way I can say thank you, by typing it. Thank you. You have worked well and hard with an ardent work ethic to give us great entertainment and I say well done. As a journalist myself I can only imagine the research that went into it all. To fellow South Africans who saw this let the passion not end here continue the good work. Be unrelenting, be bold, be achievers.

My daddy issues worked out

If only I told myself this when I find out his age .Instead I froze for a good two weeks .Beside myself with the idea of our age difference. Tried to explain it to my close friends who’s reactions were exactly like mine, one friend even said ‘’are men your age all gone?” Family and friends are your spare wheels in a tricycle while you still adjusting to riding this relationship.  If you are covered by them you are safe and good to go.

After astounding reactions and with patience a well awaited break up I have what we call a friendship, to be honest we shouldn’t call it that but let’s go with that. I discovered that the best thing that could happen to me was to have my so-called daddy issues with this particular man. He gave me ample space to address my queries astutely. We also got to defy any held stereotypes about dating a young girl. I had one of those over bearing characters but with time this experience became my vehicle to maturity. He, coming from a divorce and getting a child from another woman meant there was no commitment any time soon. He wasn’t prone to the meet the family or the bonding type.  Although contrary to popular believe I was the adult in this relationship hands down. Around me he was relaxed unless we were in a debate and he had issues he felt strongly about. The stern voice and sparkling eyes were always a dead giveaway that court was in session and both sides would debate their plausible arguments. He also made sure that whatever I was dealing with I lay on the table. He had atmost respect for me and my mother and wanted me to always respect my mother and hold her in high esteem.

I am grateful for it because from this I learnt about how bitter, trashy and messy previous relationships can be. How some woman, use their children to lure men into submission. And how some men were raised in a different way in the previous era, they were raised to respect a woman. They were raised to uphold a woman and not be demanding and possessive or maybe I was rather lucky.  Not once did I feel I was subjected to him or owned by him. Neither was I forced into anything I didn’t want to do. I walked into this with my dignity and walked out even more dignified.

So it’s true what they say, you determine how others should treat you. Or how people teach you how to welcome treatment is how you raise the bar for the next to follow suit.

Not everyone will be happy for you

Not everyone will be happy at what you are achieving but will be there to laugh at you when you fall. The thing about a gift is that it’s always like the first time every time you do something so surely then you will fail every now and again.

See we have placed focus on when we fail and go on some sad pitiful tangent trust me I did to. Instead of finding out how to mend and move on we almost stay stationary in the same spot for no good reason. Imagine if an extreme emergency case came into the emergency ward and the wounded person kept saying “no I’m fine take care of the next casualty” and the next and the next. They would end up dying from secondary causes like bleeding to death. Sounds stupid but we literally kill our own spirits and become corpses roaming earth with no direction instead of calling for help.

The proud will die, be humble and you will go far. The thing that get to me is that we always know this when we are content but never implement it in times of extreme emergency. Follow your gut at times and you will see how far you will go. Never apologise for following your sixth sense. Always Pray and meditate in your being lies all the answers you are looking for. My encouragement has always been that you must be your own cheerleader. Because when the crowds gone you left with yourself.