My Dear beloved Daddy,
Hoping this reaches a well rested soul. Well it has been 10 long hard years of father-lessness. 1999 to 2009 A lot could be said about that time, questions asked and maybe with no answers. Where you would be living? Would I be this liberal?Would you be proud? Would you have other begotten children? Would you take us by the hand and have civil conversations with Gugu and I.
Last week my cousin shed a little more light on your passing. Pitty my hero was left uncovered like dirt on the street for hours since no one could identify him,all because someone had to silence you with a bullet. If it was complete silence they wanted they got it because you left then.But I never saw you as dirt you where dignified and ever so elegant. Hardly polite and always sharing exactly what was on your mind-maybe your honesty killed you. Pitty some say you where with another woman that never surprised me at all. No disrespect to you or mama but I am slowly understanding why you and mom would never have made it down a aisle. You had your own and she has hers...imagine how I turned out.
Would me being christian please you as some people would enjoy me taking on the "sangoma" heritage further.Would me writing a letter in English like this one please you, or leave you annoyed at how brainwashed I was , after all you did not like other races much. Would me being a virgin at 22 make you a proud father I think so.Would you have agreed with mom when I moved out at the age of 18? But my lack in choice of men and failing to qualify, that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I think you would have me stoned as you came from a family of ambitious achievers. I hold onto the fact that since you tried to know me from a distance, you would defend my immature errors by fighting some battles with me. Because family is family.
I guess one thing would kill you dead, my lack in relation with my sister.You tried introducing the two and I think your efforts where for us to be as thick as thieves. I am afraid your endeavor was devoured by death. And we where left at the age of me,12 and her,8 to attempt to pick up the pieces with oh so bitter mothers.(mind you I think when I see you again I must ask you how you selected woman, did they have to have a solemn hate for you to carry your children?)
I think as the eldest you would have treated me like your boy, I mean I hear you where proud I was an athlete something most your friends thought had no future and was futile. I know you would have taught us nothing is for free and education is key. I think independence would have been your mantra and courage to fight.
Now I have other fathers who take great care of me, but they will never be anything you where Ncube wam,Mzilankatha ngalonde malandela ilanga lize liyoshona.You to me live fresh in my memory .You wake and sleep in the depth of my heart never to be removed. I have respect I have love for you my daddy.
Lala Ngoxolo Baba wam.(Rest in Peace)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Internet Invasion
It gives me great pleasure to speak about the best invasion that has impacted my mental capacity and stretched my brain. I know many have done this already but I will only speak in reference of 2008-2009 and how it has worked for me. From promoting causes and connecting with old and foreign mates the invasion is fascinating. You get emotional, creative, motivated and at times annoyed. Venting to accomplishing, the internet is your hub of warm thoughts and informational haven.
Every day almost literally, I have worked with the internet. Reading from the following, blogs, facebook, twitter, linkdin, thetimes, sowetan and other news online how can I forget my favorite gmail. This daily dose of intoxicated releases allows one to be informed and also close to folk constantly. The connections with foreign people and their thoughts, at times obscene and offensive, has left my journalistic persona educated and released into the big bad world of others. This is all due to the fact that I come from a conservative christian home and so at times I have been shocked but kept reading on.
The invasion leaves you exposed to so many views and enviroments you never dreamt of. Twitter for me has shown me how people in media are either fickle or extraordinary they are in the light but on twitter,where they are supposedly themselves, or so we hope they are exposed. The communicative social society where some are shallow and others find it paramount to respond to fans in the utmost appropriate style. Either way it has shrunk the world just a little bit more.
Here is the turn around, some have this but some of it and well a vast majority will never have it at all, how sad. Not all on this planet even know the internet exist. It still bugs me that some folk have never seen the sea. Alas I don't want to sound like a diplomat all the time. Just to say I am blessed to have allowed the invasion to occur in my life. So go on explore I happen to love the connection made by internet invasion.
Every day almost literally, I have worked with the internet. Reading from the following, blogs, facebook, twitter, linkdin, thetimes, sowetan and other news online how can I forget my favorite gmail. This daily dose of intoxicated releases allows one to be informed and also close to folk constantly. The connections with foreign people and their thoughts, at times obscene and offensive, has left my journalistic persona educated and released into the big bad world of others. This is all due to the fact that I come from a conservative christian home and so at times I have been shocked but kept reading on.
The invasion leaves you exposed to so many views and enviroments you never dreamt of. Twitter for me has shown me how people in media are either fickle or extraordinary they are in the light but on twitter,where they are supposedly themselves, or so we hope they are exposed. The communicative social society where some are shallow and others find it paramount to respond to fans in the utmost appropriate style. Either way it has shrunk the world just a little bit more.
Here is the turn around, some have this but some of it and well a vast majority will never have it at all, how sad. Not all on this planet even know the internet exist. It still bugs me that some folk have never seen the sea. Alas I don't want to sound like a diplomat all the time. Just to say I am blessed to have allowed the invasion to occur in my life. So go on explore I happen to love the connection made by internet invasion.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Invisible but there!
The invisible are the back bones of our society. The role players', they are ordinary citizens. Believe it or not I have never been a firm believer in politics or the politicians. Also I always wait to see the end of a fashion show to see who came up with the range, at times they look strange. See the masterminds are not your wealthy jerks as much as twitter has tried to uplift them. The masterminds are the people behind the scenes. People just don't know and fail to understand or give time!
I spoke to a friends this morning who wanted a favor after a traumatic experience happened to her family. I had not spoken about it really so I asked how she was and she was honest. Then I remembered that I should encourage her but not say I understand, she laughed,when i told her this and thanked me. The ones that never lie and say they understand are the invisible ones, but they are there.
The master minds behind our trends and what we wear at times will blow your world apart. After a show I always await the revealing of the designer. Him or her is a plain simple "jane" and ends up being fundamental in dictating that seasons trend. A skill or trait that they don't shout about in media conference rooms instead they are silent virtuosos of trends and fashion in a humble manner. Invisible but there.
My biggest invisibles as I said a few weeks back on facebook, is the role players that never demanded anything. They pray for me, they smile at me. Not demanding attention, they find out how I am. They inspire with their personal lives. Being the change they want to see in the world. They are hands on and when they pass on, their funerals are as packed as if they where the president. I am talking about your community builders and also at times people in your congregation, some are even family members. Invisible but there.
I spoke to a friends this morning who wanted a favor after a traumatic experience happened to her family. I had not spoken about it really so I asked how she was and she was honest. Then I remembered that I should encourage her but not say I understand, she laughed,when i told her this and thanked me. The ones that never lie and say they understand are the invisible ones, but they are there.
The master minds behind our trends and what we wear at times will blow your world apart. After a show I always await the revealing of the designer. Him or her is a plain simple "jane" and ends up being fundamental in dictating that seasons trend. A skill or trait that they don't shout about in media conference rooms instead they are silent virtuosos of trends and fashion in a humble manner. Invisible but there.
My biggest invisibles as I said a few weeks back on facebook, is the role players that never demanded anything. They pray for me, they smile at me. Not demanding attention, they find out how I am. They inspire with their personal lives. Being the change they want to see in the world. They are hands on and when they pass on, their funerals are as packed as if they where the president. I am talking about your community builders and also at times people in your congregation, some are even family members. Invisible but there.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Obese, Overweight & Opinion
Obese, overweight and opinion all have human interest at large. After reading the harsh article on The Root.com about the movie Precious and lead actress Gabourey Sidibe. I would assume Tyler Perry and Oprah got the response they wanted either way. I realised we are harsh critics and also as South Africa loves to follow behind America like lambs to the slaughter we might find SA dubbed the largest country not far from now. It's a problem because of many implications including genetics, nutrition and sedentary causes. We recongise this in the generation growing now- classic couch potatoes.
BBW (Big black woman), may sound appealing to some black men and woman, woman because they safe behind the mass of flesh, but the health implications are huge.We have seen time and time again on Oprah show woman like Star Jones and many others talk about the security that they found in big bodies but the critics never held back. Gladly it's not a racial issue it's global one. I am proud to say that for now we don't as South Africa even fall in the top twenty statics when they review countries.
Are journalist and critics really harsh. In my findings they might not be helping if all they doing is bashing that person's esteem down. Some have further more written options that the person can take. And also explanations of how they got to over weight and later obese. When critics write they use celebraties which makes me think youth deem it as fine and hence a youth that is content with it.
So far 1 out of 3 children in the states is overweight. Genetics, nutrition and sedentary causes, my view here is that it's sedentary causes. One hardly hears children playing, they are usually indoors and playing with gadgets these days. Parents and children should be find a balance of technology and tree climbing. Followed by how they eat.
Nutritional value is important all round to every age. Heard something on the Oprah Winfrey show once: "if your grand mother would not recognise it as food question yourself." It changed how I saw food. Now look I am not the best eater but again I walk a lot and also I get to eat twice a day. Fruits are in my diet as well as treats(junk).
Take care of your body and maybe your body might take care of you and go the extra mile one day.
BBW (Big black woman), may sound appealing to some black men and woman, woman because they safe behind the mass of flesh, but the health implications are huge.We have seen time and time again on Oprah show woman like Star Jones and many others talk about the security that they found in big bodies but the critics never held back. Gladly it's not a racial issue it's global one. I am proud to say that for now we don't as South Africa even fall in the top twenty statics when they review countries.
Are journalist and critics really harsh. In my findings they might not be helping if all they doing is bashing that person's esteem down. Some have further more written options that the person can take. And also explanations of how they got to over weight and later obese. When critics write they use celebraties which makes me think youth deem it as fine and hence a youth that is content with it.
So far 1 out of 3 children in the states is overweight. Genetics, nutrition and sedentary causes, my view here is that it's sedentary causes. One hardly hears children playing, they are usually indoors and playing with gadgets these days. Parents and children should be find a balance of technology and tree climbing. Followed by how they eat.
Nutritional value is important all round to every age. Heard something on the Oprah Winfrey show once: "if your grand mother would not recognise it as food question yourself." It changed how I saw food. Now look I am not the best eater but again I walk a lot and also I get to eat twice a day. Fruits are in my diet as well as treats(junk).
Take care of your body and maybe your body might take care of you and go the extra mile one day.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Ngaliwe ngingalindile!
Ngaliwe ngingalindile(-i got dumped without realising it).
It's lyrics I am bound to have recorded someday as a house track that might be a hit for a while and then people will forget about it. My high school principal always used to say people never remember the good, just the bad, so carry yourself with decorum.
Whether or not my song becomes a hit or not fact remains somethings are awesome and then the next big thing comes. A new mate in the circle of friends, new colleague, new church member, a new friends partner, a new salary, a new town, a new shoe, a new parent the list is endless of things that can replace the OLD.
Early this week I went to a family friends funeral and that man to me is an antic piece of art placed in the hallway of my mind never to be forgotten or missed. To me he was a unsung hero for my family affecting the nations and beyond. A pastor,husband, father, grandpa and more, a true reconcilor for people.
Make sure you carry yourself with decorum and grace. Make sure that although it's not publicly pronounced you are still the reconcilor of people always seeking peace. That although you cannot live as a hit song in the national airwaves atleast some people find you a hit in their lives and act out your message. Always be the change you want to see in the world.
It's lyrics I am bound to have recorded someday as a house track that might be a hit for a while and then people will forget about it. My high school principal always used to say people never remember the good, just the bad, so carry yourself with decorum.
Whether or not my song becomes a hit or not fact remains somethings are awesome and then the next big thing comes. A new mate in the circle of friends, new colleague, new church member, a new friends partner, a new salary, a new town, a new shoe, a new parent the list is endless of things that can replace the OLD.
Early this week I went to a family friends funeral and that man to me is an antic piece of art placed in the hallway of my mind never to be forgotten or missed. To me he was a unsung hero for my family affecting the nations and beyond. A pastor,husband, father, grandpa and more, a true reconcilor for people.
Make sure you carry yourself with decorum and grace. Make sure that although it's not publicly pronounced you are still the reconcilor of people always seeking peace. That although you cannot live as a hit song in the national airwaves atleast some people find you a hit in their lives and act out your message. Always be the change you want to see in the world.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Trigger Happy
I am trigger happy ready
to fire out my beliefs
i think i think i know
i expel my thoughts
at times in the harshest way
eloquence at times drapes
my lips and i tell of goodness
really that's all i should do
but human traits are paradoxical
so enigmatic persona takes over
i leave the souls of others
dead or alive because
i am trigger happy -Silindile Mbali Ndlovu
This poem I wrote sitting on my balcony thinking of how we can make or break things with our words. When I was growing up I always preferred my mother to hit me than shout at me because words slice and leave permanent wounds in your soul. Memories you cannot erase. Thus she did beat me and I guess now I wish that's all people did,rather beat the problem out of me then say what they will of me.
When I say things I also mean it. I am a person of my word and seldom do I let someone down on something. I am a people pleaser but also encourager. I may think what a waste in my womanly woes, but I shape up quickly by allowing the mind to remind me why this person is in my life. My mother is here because she gave birth to me and nurtured me. My friends are here because we grew up together and learnt God blessed us by placing our lives to cross our paths. So my man is here because the divine happened and we met to over overbearingly love wholeheartedly.
Your speech is derived from your manner which is already preconceived in your mind. So this already was manifest mentally before physically. Making me acknowledge that the words where made to life by your actions but a thought before a action. So remember that your words map out your ideas. Speak positive and inspiring words and it will return to you positively. Don't be like me and be trigger happy .
to fire out my beliefs
i think i think i know
i expel my thoughts
at times in the harshest way
eloquence at times drapes
my lips and i tell of goodness
really that's all i should do
but human traits are paradoxical
so enigmatic persona takes over
i leave the souls of others
dead or alive because
i am trigger happy -Silindile Mbali Ndlovu
This poem I wrote sitting on my balcony thinking of how we can make or break things with our words. When I was growing up I always preferred my mother to hit me than shout at me because words slice and leave permanent wounds in your soul. Memories you cannot erase. Thus she did beat me and I guess now I wish that's all people did,rather beat the problem out of me then say what they will of me.
When I say things I also mean it. I am a person of my word and seldom do I let someone down on something. I am a people pleaser but also encourager. I may think what a waste in my womanly woes, but I shape up quickly by allowing the mind to remind me why this person is in my life. My mother is here because she gave birth to me and nurtured me. My friends are here because we grew up together and learnt God blessed us by placing our lives to cross our paths. So my man is here because the divine happened and we met to over overbearingly love wholeheartedly.
Your speech is derived from your manner which is already preconceived in your mind. So this already was manifest mentally before physically. Making me acknowledge that the words where made to life by your actions but a thought before a action. So remember that your words map out your ideas. Speak positive and inspiring words and it will return to you positively. Don't be like me and be trigger happy .
Monday, October 19, 2009
John the Legend came to town!
John legend is doing his world tour and knew that he had to globe trot with Keri Hilson.South Africa was another country he had booked in his schedule.I was given the privilege to see this in action.
Keri Hilson's repertoire is still rather fresh so getting the crowd singing along to every song was not going to happen. However it doesn't mean she was ill equiped to include her audience. The songs where well rehearsed with the back track and when the time came for audiences to sing along it still lead to a authentic experience. Over all she really enjoys people interaction immensely. She was well dressed looked amazing, with her classic charming smile. Her trait in stage presence is flirting, she is great at that.
John legend was no doubt a show stopper. He called a young lady up and danced with her and even kissed her,if I was Nthando the whole world would know about it. He gave us his radio hits and also the other songs. Incredible experience. I had my camera in hand and got shots of the classic seated-at-the-piano shots. What I enjoyed the most was his stage acting and also his band. His sheer swagger and stage persona that make him arrogant where so evident. That band is amazing. Also slick and they are like a family, they knew John's every move and improvisation looks clean when he wanted to improvise. A dream come true for me. Then came the moment of taking his shirt off I just had to admit I had one tear in the eye. Beautiful display of a caramel cream honey coated skin.
My pictures are all over, celebrating my legendary moment!
Keri Hilson's repertoire is still rather fresh so getting the crowd singing along to every song was not going to happen. However it doesn't mean she was ill equiped to include her audience. The songs where well rehearsed with the back track and when the time came for audiences to sing along it still lead to a authentic experience. Over all she really enjoys people interaction immensely. She was well dressed looked amazing, with her classic charming smile. Her trait in stage presence is flirting, she is great at that.
John legend was no doubt a show stopper. He called a young lady up and danced with her and even kissed her,if I was Nthando the whole world would know about it. He gave us his radio hits and also the other songs. Incredible experience. I had my camera in hand and got shots of the classic seated-at-the-piano shots. What I enjoyed the most was his stage acting and also his band. His sheer swagger and stage persona that make him arrogant where so evident. That band is amazing. Also slick and they are like a family, they knew John's every move and improvisation looks clean when he wanted to improvise. A dream come true for me. Then came the moment of taking his shirt off I just had to admit I had one tear in the eye. Beautiful display of a caramel cream honey coated skin.
My pictures are all over, celebrating my legendary moment!
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