Older child syndrome

The blog is not so much about neglect as it is about the concern over what to do and not to do. The idea that so much effort is poured over the first child and making that child a success story. The predecessors are left with something of left over love and care. I think the first borns then step it up and find it as their duty to play co-parent especially in cases where the parent is single. This is my life story.

I’ve enjoyed co-parenting with my mother. The only thing I don’t do is pay my sister's bills otherwise I’m there. I cook on days I really and honestly don’t feel like it because I feel I have a child to feed. I had to do a lot of comforting during the hard years of my sisters confusion over how to live without her dad. Her father passed away when she was young and so did mine so I had walked the walk and felt very comfortable to walk her through this appalling experience. I also had the pleasure of taking her to her first day at high school and finding her classroom with her, must admit I held back the tears when she sat down and I had to go. I have attended sports days and awards ceremonies where I can. I have fussed over her grade seven dance and how she should look because I knew on the day I would be working and wouldn’t be around to help her with the nitty gritty of getting ready. She is our princess and I want her to have the best in life that we can afford to possibly give her. I do this because I feel we must create a world where children are allowed to speak to us and feel they can come to us for help or to just talk.

I have made decisions around her and how she would feel and I guess that’s why she calls me her role model. I have made this girl a priority in my life because to be honest if I had an older sister I would have expected the same. I have to calm some fires when she and mother fight but it’s always part of the package and at times mom will call me in to discipline my own sister. That for me is the hardest. But at the end of the day I remember that someone needs to guide and nurture her and who better than her own family. We haven’t gotten to talking about boys yet I think that is because she is truly afraid of me but we will get there.