My daddy issues worked out

If only I told myself this when I find out his age .Instead I froze for a good two weeks .Beside myself with the idea of our age difference. Tried to explain it to my close friends who’s reactions were exactly like mine, one friend even said ‘’are men your age all gone?” Family and friends are your spare wheels in a tricycle while you still adjusting to riding this relationship.  If you are covered by them you are safe and good to go.

After astounding reactions and with patience a well awaited break up I have what we call a friendship, to be honest we shouldn’t call it that but let’s go with that. I discovered that the best thing that could happen to me was to have my so-called daddy issues with this particular man. He gave me ample space to address my queries astutely. We also got to defy any held stereotypes about dating a young girl. I had one of those over bearing characters but with time this experience became my vehicle to maturity. He, coming from a divorce and getting a child from another woman meant there was no commitment any time soon. He wasn’t prone to the meet the family or the bonding type.  Although contrary to popular believe I was the adult in this relationship hands down. Around me he was relaxed unless we were in a debate and he had issues he felt strongly about. The stern voice and sparkling eyes were always a dead giveaway that court was in session and both sides would debate their plausible arguments. He also made sure that whatever I was dealing with I lay on the table. He had atmost respect for me and my mother and wanted me to always respect my mother and hold her in high esteem.

I am grateful for it because from this I learnt about how bitter, trashy and messy previous relationships can be. How some woman, use their children to lure men into submission. And how some men were raised in a different way in the previous era, they were raised to respect a woman. They were raised to uphold a woman and not be demanding and possessive or maybe I was rather lucky.  Not once did I feel I was subjected to him or owned by him. Neither was I forced into anything I didn’t want to do. I walked into this with my dignity and walked out even more dignified.

So it’s true what they say, you determine how others should treat you. Or how people teach you how to welcome treatment is how you raise the bar for the next to follow suit.